


hope in a bottle

by avapacifica



Series: October Writing Challenge 2019 [13]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hope, Hopeful Ending, Missing Scene, Travel, Wishful Thinking, before Jaime gets captured basically, post episode 8x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 23:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21024185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avapacifica/pseuds/avapacifica
Summary: with hours of open road ahead of him, Jaime ponders what his future will be





	hope in a bottle

**Author's Note:**

> Day 13: Seashore  
I know y'all are sick of season 8 braime, but this is all I could think of for this prompt. I wrote this about a month ago from a prompt question, so I just expanded on it here. Anyways, enjoy this if it's not overdone enough already.

Tyrion and I had been in King’s Landing. Father had business with the king, so we had been on the beach, looking for treasure. Of course it had already been scoured by children with the same ideas. We didn’t know that, so we searched anyway. Tyrion came across a bottle with a message inside. It had been from one lost lover to another, though he never read it. I snatched it away from him before he could get his small eight-year-old hands on it.

I read it over and over that night, imagining me sending a message to Cersei, her finding it only years later. It would be a grand romantic gesture, and it’d make her love me even more. I was a stupid teenager, but I even realized at one point that it would be foolish. Anyone could come across it. The intercepted surprise would be spoiled. I never sent one out. The idea left my mind for years to come.

I’ve only recently recalled that memory. Long days on the road will do that to you, you’ll remember things you didn’t even think you forgot. But now there’s an ever persisting thing on my mind, I wish I could send one of those messages. To whom? Brienne of course.

I suppose it would explain why I did it, left what was so obviously perfect and  _ right. _ Because what I told her, that was only a half-truth. I am bad, there’s no doubt about that. But if that was all it was, I would’ve been selfish. I would’ve stayed.

Unfortunately, there’s no time to write a letter, I’m already behind on time as it is. But if there was, I’d explain to her that I need to be there when Cersei dies. Yes, part of it is that so I know for sure it happens, but also, and it would be a pain for her to read this; because I still love her. She’s my family. I love Brienne, I’m sure of that now. But Cersei and I have time on our side, and that can’t be taken away.

While I’m almost positive that without my presence, the dragon queen’s fire would still bring her to an end, I need it to be me. It will be me. Cersei needs to be at peace, only continued heartbreak has brought her to this state of tyranny. I can’t help but think that in a world without children to lose, she would have been a good, kind ruler. We might not even need the Targaryen girl. She deserves a quiet ending, and if that’s my opinion only, then so be it. 

If I make it out of this alive, which I pray to the old gods and the new that I will, I will find my way back to Brienne. If there was a bottle, I’d tell her the only reason I broke her heart, and broke my own in the process. She couldn’t follow me, that’s not her decision. I’d rather her sad than dead.

I have a fantasy. Brienne is back in Tarth, and she’s lived a long and happy life. Only then is she allowed to find my imaginary bottle, when the hurt is too far in the past for her to truly feel the emotions I would’ve poured into it.

I’ve already put her in pain far too much in the present, no more. The most I can do for her now is to put down Cersei, and return to her, the one I truly love. If she’ll have me of course, which I’m not sure she even should. I don’t deserve her, that’s for sure. If she will have me though, perhaps we can return to Tarth together. Perhaps that message only needs to be a distant memory. It will be one that I’m able to forget, because I’ll never go on a journey like this without her again. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, kudos and comments are always appreciated!


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